By Lois Hewitt

I used to allow myself to languish in my perceived grief.  Grief for a life I did not have.

I allowed my mind and my emotions to drive the car of my life.  It took wild turns and made dangerous swerves.

I wallowed in a bath full of self-pity and obnoxious self grandeur. 

As I have aged, the best lesson learned is a hard but necessary lesson.  To Step Up.  To go when you would rather not.

To act in a way you that feels like too much work.

To do the right thing when it just seems too hard. And to do the right thing when no one is watching.

To Step Up means different things to different people.  For me it can simply mean to just walk out the door and into the world.

I would rather not ever leave where I live but I am called to do more than just exist.  I used to take up space never fulfilling any dream or hope fully.

I started lots of things and finished very few.  Failed over and over without the gift of lesson learned.

Then comes the age when you realize the end is closer than the beginning.  Not in a morbid way but in a truthful sense of reality.

When I step up, even in the smallest way, I feel as if I climbed a mountain.  The days of laying in bed rather than going to work or cleaning the house or cooking a meal are a not so distant memory but a memory nonetheless.

Some people have done great and wondrous things with their lives. Their goals were always clear.  I have a little envy for such a person.

But one day I realized that it was not too late to start living the life God gave me to live.  I’m breathing…I am stepping up.

Makes no difference how you started the race or how the middle went but how you finish is the key.

Life as a race makes sense to me.  As I look at the other runners I see varied degrees of ability and determination. I used to think I had to copy other people’s races.

But now I see my race is unique to me as yours is to you.  I may have started off slow and had a slow middle but I plan to finally step up.

So much time wasted, nothing can be done about it now.  But I can change this point forward by taking the chances, no matter the size, that I used to miss. Too late is not an option any longer.

Some days I set a personal best and other days I can’t seem to get off the starting line but, at least, I showed up and did not miss the race all together.

To Step Up wins the race. To Step Up a victor makes!

By Lois Hewitt

Today I hit a milestone.  Today I am writing my 400th blog post (they always start as FB posts).  10 years and 400 posts. What a ride it’s been.

I cannot go back and look at the first posts. My life was so chaotic and my mental health so bad, I imagine I could barely handle it.

Then it became a travel log as we drove our epic journey to find a new life.

Then just random thoughts, none of which I care to read either. 

Now a journal of my faith. 

The blog is a true mirror of the  life I have led. True and honest.  The good, the bad and the very ugly parts.  I’ve written about darkness and fear, about uncertainty and self-doubt and about just not knowing what to do. 

But now, at least I hope, it is about redemption and forgiveness. About surrender and faith.  I was so broken, but not hopeless. I have been in the valley, the desert and on the mountaintop.

What have I learned in 400 posts:

Never ever give up, things will always change.

If you can’t see a way out, just look up…nothing is impossible with God.

Your past may have molded you, but it does not define you in the present.

No matter the things you have done or said, sincere remorse can bring cleansing through the blood of Jesus.

Never discount the power in being grateful.  Gratitude kills entitlement and victim mentalities.

I now choose people and experiences over things.

Sometimes a solid “no” is the greatest gift of all.

Love is the super power that has the absolute ability to heal ourselves, others and the world.  Jesus taught me the meaning of love.

Rest and taking care of yourself are absolutely non- negotiable. 

I have not always made the right choices. They were based purely on my own wants.  Today my choices have a heavenly light upon them.  Still not always perfect but getting closer.

Joy is a choice.  Joy is present in good times and bad if you chose it to be.  Choosing joy was a learned experience for me, not natural but definitely possible.

There are more but one last one.  God created food to heal not make us ill.  Eating right must be a priority.

Thank you to everyone who ever read anything I ever wrote. Thank you for the always encouraging comments as I read them all.

I cannot even remember why I started this blog.  I suppose it was a fluke and maybe I thought it could become a career (years to date earnings $0 – oh well).  But now I know the joy is not in any monetary reward but in the connections made.

I have had readers from all over the globe.  I have no idea how someone from Russia finds me, but I am eternally happy that it happens. If I can touch one person, it is worth it all.

Well, the 400th post is almost complete. Not sure what’s left to say, maybe nothing. I leave that up to the Holy Spirit. The most meaningful posts I remember nothing of writing them.  Sometimes I am just a conduit and fingers to type.

Not sure I’ll reach 500 posts but it’s been an amazing ride where I hope Jesus was glorifed! 

Thank you ever so much!

By Lois Hewitt

Cayenne Pepper.  What it has taught me.

All my life I feared all peppers and hot spices. I felt my system too fragile to handle.

Meals were plain with a bit of black pepper and a touch of salt.

Once I gave up processed and fast food, I noticed a need in my system for more flavor.

Gone were the unhealthy oils and food additives.  My scratch cooking lacked a savory taste.

Barbara O’Neil explained the difference between cayenne and other peppers that is leading me down a new path.

Cayenne is not hot and burning like a habenaro, but subtly warm.  It can cause a momentary tingle on the tongue and in the throat.

Its health benefits outweigh any inconvience. So I started with a small shake.  Then a full shake.  Now a couple seems to do the trick. The heat is missed if I do not use it.

I have fallen in love with cayenne and its taste and its subtle heat.  I feel it working inside me to bring about better blood pressure, better blood flow and a cleansing that only comes from the fire.

So it is with the Christian life, I am finding. You may be bland and plain for a time but it will come when you are asked to be a bit of heat.  Not scorching but distinct and present. 

We are called to make a stand.  Some will appear like a Scotch Bonnet, hot and irritating.  Others will appear like a poblano, with hardly a notice.

The cayenne rests between the two.  With a kick but not a burn.  I am in a cayenne state of mind at this time.

I see the jokes on social media about Easter. And the blatant disregard for Christian beliefs. This from many screaming voices that say they need everyone to bow down to them and submit.  They call Christians hypocrites and then marginalize our beliefs. The very definition of hypocracy.

Christians are not called to be more perfect than anyone else.  We, just like all people, are not able to achieve perfection.  Yes, the church and religion have hurt people, but so has every other organized group of people.  Hurt happens across the board.

The voices screaming hate belong to the one screaming. Not to any group they claim alliance with. 

I, personally, do not feel the need to scream but I will turn up the heat when my Lord is mocked.

I seek not to mock you yet my faith is in an open season. I believe the strength of my faith is in the lamb but there is also a lion nearby.

My mood is very cayenne at the moment.  I do not like the direction in which the world is heading. Maybe a touch of cayenne is needed.

If you want to know Jesus but don’t know where to start. Simply say this short prayer. 

Lord, forgive me for my sins and save me. Help me to turn away from my old ways and follow Your will. I believe in Jesus and ask Him to be my Lord and Savior. Cleanse me with Your blood and fill me with Your Holy Spirit. Amen.

Then find someone you trust and start on the path of learning about the Christian faith.

There are also many resources online and in Christian bookstores. Pray for discernment and He will guide your search.

Please open your heart to Him.  It was the best decision I ever made.

By Lois Hewitt

Resurrection Sunday!  This is the single MOST important day in Christian history.  For on this day, Jesus was no longer beaten and bruised, no longer susceptible to human malodies, and no longer lifeless.  On this Sunday, He rose up to His glory in Heaven.

The women who cared for Jesus went to the tomb and found it empty.  Then an angel appeared and explained:

Don’t be afraid! I know you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He isn’t here! He is risen from the dead, just as he said would happen.” (Matthew 28:5-6, NLT)

What a glorious day!  From this day forward the world had a Savior that defied death and brought salvation and redemption from sin.

Thank you for all who took this journey with me this week.  This is the first time I delved into all that transpired that week.  I learned to much!

Thank you to God’s word as it guided me through this week.  The Learn Religions website was a great help also.

So on this holiest of Holy days, I pray the the spirit of Jesus fills you.

Gives you forgiveness when you sin.

Gives you strength when you are weak. 

Gives you health when you are sick.

Gives you peace when you are anxious

Gives you comfort when you grieve.

Gives you daily bread and provisions every day.

Gives you love, kindness, mercy and grace all the days of your life.

Jesus came to change the world. Not to create a religion but to care for all of His Father’s children.

Everything before passed, a new day dawned. Glory was His.

If you don’t know Jesus, please just talk to Him.  He has saved so many.  He just wants us to come to Him, He will take it from there.

He took a sinner like me and washed me clean.  He now guides my path away from danger.  He is my comfort amidst a chaotic world.  He is my rock! 

Happy Easter!  May the light of Jesus shine upon you!

Sunday’s events are recorded in Matthew 28:1-13, Mark 16:1-14, Luke 24:1-49, and John 20:1-23.

By Lois Hewitt

Holy Saturday.  Friday is over but Sunday is not yet here.  Today two quiet followers of Jesus make it known that He was the Messiah.

Nicodemus and Joseph of Arimathea, were members of the Sanhedrin, the court that had condemned Jesus Christ to death.

They quietly watched as Jesus ministered to those around Him.  They watched and listened. They had to be afraid to publicly support Jesus because of their positions in the church.

But on Saturday, as they prepared the body of Jesus for burial, they made their beliefs known.  They had to be a little scared but decided it was the right thing to do.

For so many years, I followed Jesus but He was a buddy, a pal.  I had some reverence but not in the amount I should have.  Although I was not the ideal follower, I did learn something.

I learned that He is indeed my friend.  A friend Who cares for me, Who weeps with me, Who laughs with me.  I was not the perfect follower but I actually learned to depend on Him.

I did not have the understanding I have now.  I, although am so very ashamed now, cursed Him.  I yelled at Him.  I questioned if He was real and if so, why was He so cruel to me at times.

Those were heady days, my friend.  I longed for a child and I longed to be healed and those things stayed distant.

I was not an ideal follower but in those dark days…years… I learned to rely on Him.

Then the time came were He has allowed me more understanding and knowledge. Free am I from those old thoughts and confusions. Once in a while I catch myself asking “why”  but I no longer need an answer because I know the plan is good.

So like Nicodemus and Joseph, I have come out of hiding. I still consider Jesus my friend, but now the relationship has moved to a new level.  He is my Teacher, my Protector, my Comforter and my Saving Grace.  He is more to me than I ever dreamed.

On this, relatively quiet, Saturday before the celebration of the resurrection, I contemplate all Jesus has done for me and I humbly fall at His feet in absolute gratitude for all things He has done and is yet to do.

If I had been with Jesus in His time on earth, I may very well have denied Him in fear.  But today I proudly claim my postion as a child of Jesus.  With gratitude unending.

I will no doubt have periods of uncertainty, life throws those curveballs our way, but to recover quickly from such times will be the goal.  I want no distance between Him and me.

As long as we have breath, we have the opportunity to grow deeper in Him. The old things we did are learning experiences. I was not the perfect follower, nor will I ever be, but we are not called to perfection.  We are called to love Him. I embrace that calling today. Do you?

Saturday’s events are recorded in Matthew 27:62-66, Mark 16:1, Luke 23:56, and John 19:40.

By Lois Hewitt

Good Friday.  What can happen in a nine-hour period?  A lot, especially if you are Jesus of Nazareth.

The day started early, in the wee hours.  The morning was full of unlawful mock trials. Trials that ultimately brought down a sentence of crixifiction for Jesus.

Scattered throughout those morning hours were random and planned attacks on Jesus. He was mocked, spit on, cut deeply by a crown of thorns, stabbed and beaten. I have read accounts that He was so brutally beaten, His own mother did not recognize Him at first.

After He was sentenced to death, the humiliation continued as He was paraded out in the crowds of people cursing Him.  As He carried His own cross, His body grew weaker.

Unfortunately the worst was not over.  There are many accurate writings describing what happens to the body when crucified. If you have never read one, I suggest you do just to get an idea of the absolute pain and devastation that comes from such a punishment.

Now it was time for the Roman solders to take those huge nails and tear the flesh as they were driven into His hands and feet.

He languished for hours along with the two criminals that joined Him that day each on a wooden cross.  At approximately 3 pm He uttered these words:

Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34, NIV).  

And His last words were, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” (Luke 23:46, NIV).  And it was done.

The sky drew dark and, I imagine, the winds swirled around.  It must have looked like the worst storm you have ever seen. 

Earlier that day, Judas, the one who betrayed Jesus for a few silver coins, took His own life for the grief of his actions was too much for him to bear.

By 6 p.m. Friday evening, Nicodemus and Joseph of Arimathea took Jesus’ body down from the cross and lay it in a tomb. 

Nine long and excruciating hours. Hours filled with the most cruelty human-unkind could muster.

Good Friday was anything but good.  You must look, however, at the bigger picture in order to appreciate the sacrifice.

Because of all Jesus gave, it allowed everyone the opportunity to know salvation and to know redemption.  Jesus has a love for us so complete, our wildest imagination cannot comprehend it.  We are not able to experience it all now.  But in the future, all will be revealed.

But the good that came out of that Friday, literally changed every life thereafter.
He changed life for believers and non-believers alike.  His love is so profound, nothing was the same as it before.

Just remember the story does not end here.

Friday’s events are recorded in Matthew 27:1-62, Mark 15:1-47, Luke 22:63-23:56, and John 18:28-19:37.

By Lois Hewitt

Maundy Thursday.  This day marks the beginning of the end of Jesus’ time on earth as a man.  Things got real, to coin a modern phrase.

Jesus sent Peter and John ahead of the group to prepare the Upper Room for the Passover Feast.  Little did the guests (the Disciples) know that very soon their Rabbi, teacher and their friend would be gone from their lives in physical form.

After sunset, Jesus washed the feet of His disciples.  This was a very poignant sign of His service to others and a shining example of how we are all to act in regard to others.

Jesus did not come to this world to have statues made of Him or to make grand gestures as a way to look more pious as many religious leaders did and some still do.

His ministry was about loving one another.  About being in service to each other.  He cared not about things, awards or accolades.  He came to show us all a different way to live. 

It was at this feast that Communion became an integral part of our remembrance of the ultimate sacrifice Jesus gave to all people…the opportunity of forgiveness and redemption for those who believe in Him as well as the gift of eternal life.

He broke bread (representative of His body) with His cherished friends. He drank wine (representative of His blood) with His disciples.  He washed their feet (representative of His service to other).  So much happened that evening.

But the night was not over.  Judas had yet to kiss his Teacher.  A kiss that would seal a horrendous deal that would cause the One True Light in the world to be tortured and left for dead on an old wooden tree shaped like a cross.

Judas delivered that kiss and Jesus accepted it as this was His Father’s will.  Once the kiss happened Jesus was arrested and stood trial early the next morning.

During the night, those who swore their alliances forever to Jesus, denied knowing Him.  Oh, how His heart must have broken. Oh, how their hearts broke also with anguish and regret.

The light of the next day would bring with it sorrow unimaginable.  A loss that would ripple through time for each generation to come.  Why did this have to happen?

Simply, to save us from the sins in our lives. Those things we are too weak to fight alone.  To save us from the bad choices we have made.  To purify us so that we may spend an eternity in Heaven with God, the Father and His Son, who humbly came to earth to change the way people lived.

This was a most horrific event in human history. There have been many horrific events in history, humans are the cruelest and most ruthless of species.

But the events of Jesus did not end after that dinner or after His human death.  He was triumphant over the darkness. Over evil.  Over death.  He rose again and His life did change the world!  Never will we be the same because He walked this earth.

These things we do, do in remembrance of the One who came to save the world through love, peace and servitude to others.

I fall short of His example every single day, sometimes I even forget about the sacrifice, and once or twice I denied Him.  Oh, how my soul mourns those transgressions. Peace could never be mine, except for Him.

Today, I remember what Jesus gave to this world.  No longer afraid to proclaim Him.  He is my Savior and I am blessed beyond comprehension because of His sacrifice on that old tree shaped like a cross.

“Thursday’s events are recorded in Matthew 26:17–75, Mark 14:12-72, Luke 22:7-62, and John 13:1-38.”

By Lois Hewitt

Holy Wednesday!  The countdown continues. Many historical accounts elude to the fact that this was a fairly quiet day for Jesus. He probably rested and took time with His disciples.

He knew what the next two days would bring, so He rested with the ones He loved.

What a beautiful example for us to live by.  Even in the midst of choas, sometimes we need to push back and breathe for a moment.

Others may not like that you do that.  But you need to take care of yourself.  Chaos has a way of always existing.  Chaos doesn’t worry that it might be extinguished. We live in a world that thrives on chaos, it is up to our own selves to stop the bus, as it where, and get off the ride.

I have discussed the fact a few times that Jesus was often going off alone to pray and rest.  The crowds never went away but He did.

Going away did not mean that He didn’t care or that He was being selfish.  Quite the contrary, it’s because He rested and prayed that He was better able to meet the needs of those around Him.

So when your life seems like an out-of-control circus, give yourself permission to stop, pray and breathe.  It will change everything. 

And do not forget to take time with those you love.  Jesus knew He would be leaving very soon and wanted to spend just a little more time with this most special to Him.

Jesus is the example we, as His followers, should follow.  He was never afraid to show up and do the work.  But He also knew the importance of a space in time that was quiet and nurturing.

On this Holy Wednesday, just days before the resurrection, take a moment or two (or more) to quiet your mind, calm your body, allow oxygen into and out of your longs and say a prayer of thanksgiving.  This act alone may just fortify you to keep hanging in there.

Peace be with you this Holy day and always, my friend.

By Lois Hewitt

Holy Tuesday!  The days must have grown darker for Jesus as He counted down to the crucifixion.  By this point in His story, the religious leaders were plotting ways to exit Jesus from the picture.  Permanently.

One account I read, said it is believed that this was the day Judas stuck his deal to betray Jesus.  A deal he soon regretted.

I know when I have an unpleasant thing to do, the feeling of dread envelopes me for days. If it is particularly unpleasant, doom can start weeks in advance.

I cannot imagine how Jesus felt knowing how His time on this earth would end. He always knew but I imagine as the time got closer, it was more and more difficult.

Jesus knew what was to unfold.  He knew the pain He would experience, the humiliation and the betrayal.  Yet He forged ahead knowing this is the work He was called to do.  To save mankind from sin.

When we face hard things, our minds tend to race around the “what ifs” and the “could bes”.  We tend to dread the worst possible scenario.

Jesus knew how it would play out. He knew about Friday, He knew He would experience pain beyond comprehension.  He knew He would sweat blood.  He knew His earthly body would expire from the torture.

But He also knew about Sunday!  Sunday would come with all its glory!  Sunday came with a new resurrected body and a seat at the right hand of God.

Sunday came with the knowledge that the world had changed. That sinners now had a way to be cleansed through His blood.  He knew that in order to experience Sunday, He had to experience Friday.

How many “Friday” experiences have you lived through in order to celebrate on “Sunday”?

My life for many years was a “Friday”, not like Jesus experienced, but was fraught with my own version of pain and anguish.  My pain mostly was self chosen, but painful nonetheless.

One “Friday” I dropped to my knees and screamed for it all to stop.  I reached a point where I felt I could not go on.  I prayed for cleansing and I prayed for redemption.

Then my “Sunday”came. I saw the glory of Jesus and my life forever changed. The exciting part is that this is only part of the story.  There is more to come in the glory of Heaven.  Things unimaginable.

So today, a day of betrayal for Jesus, it was a necessary evil to bring about the glory.

Your pain may feel unbearable, and it is.  But there is hope in the recovery from the pain.  Jesus lived through physical pain, to save us all.  He experienced the pain so that He could save us from sin.

There is hope in the “Friday” that because of it “Sunday” will come. Have faith and hope in His eternal gift to His children. 

I stand on the mountain and glorify Jesus for my “Sunday”!